AS THE TWIG IS BENT
Originally published in
Horse Directory, October 2012
Originally published in
Horse Directory, October 2012
By Tom Gumbrecht
There is a
saying that states, “As the twig is bent, the tree inclines”. Put in the
context of training of the horse and rider, it could be taken to mean, “A
casual suggestion, helpful or hurtful, when uttered from a respected source,
may affect the kind of rider he or she may ultimately become”.
In becoming
an effective rider, some of the things that need to be developed are balance,
stamina, independent aids, patience, and self-image. The first qualities are obvious, but
self-image? What does that have to do with riding a horse effectively?
Having begun
my riding career in my mid-forties, my only experiences are as an adult
rider. As adults, there are usually a
few things we’re good at: our jobs, raising children if we have them, perhaps a
sport or two, maybe a special skill like gardening, sailing or home
improvement. We tend to stick to the things we’re good at because… well, it’s
more fun doing things we’re good at than doing things we’re not good at. So that’s pretty much what I did until age 45
when I rode my first horse. Then it all
changed.
Those
afflicted with a love of horses and riding need no explanation for what ensued;
those who haven’t been won’t understand anyway. While I found that I loved
being around horses and learning to ride, I also was a bit uncomfortable at
being so bad at something. I was not
what one would call a “natural rider”. As
I developed my balance, strength, and seat, I found that I needed to work on
something else as well… my self-image. Self-image is not so much who we are,
it’s a kind of combination of who we wish to be, who we’re afraid we are, how
we think others perceive us, and what we believe ourselves worthy of. In the beginning, my self-image as a rider
was fragile. An ill-placed comment could discourage me for days; a great lesson
had me trotting on clouds.
Curiously, I
had an image of myself as riding jumpers almost from the start. Investigating
many disciplines, nothing seemed so perfectly correct in my fledgling vision of
how a horse should go, than watching a horse and rider on course in a jumper
round. I found myself volunteering to help set up jump courses on Friday
afternoons before weekend horse shows, and taking photos of the riders and studying
them. I secretly thought my aspirations
were a bit juvenile and unrealistic, like a kid wanting to be an astronaut. Still,
I designed a logo with the name of the barn I was planning to build that
featured a jumping horse…. before I had ever jumped a horse. I saw myself in
boots and breeches long before I had the guts to wear them. While I could ride
all day, I found it tiring watching other people ride… except for the jumpers.
As months
and years passed and time in the saddle began accumulating, it began to seem as
if my goal was not totally unrealistic. As small successes boosted my resolve,
I found myself becoming more protective of the image of myself as a rider that
I was fostering. Let’s face it, riding
requires a major expenditure of mental and physical effort, time, and money. If I allow my self-image to become damaged to
the level that it’s no longer fun, there’s no point. But exactly how can I
protect it?
At some
point in my riding, I began to develop a point of view of my own. I developed, or more accurately, became aware
of, my own standards of how a horse should be treated and trained, and how I as
a student of riding and horsemanship would allow myself to be treated. I began associating with people who shared my
point of view. I chose to train with
those who took the positive aspects of my riding and used them as blocks upon
which to build me up as a rider. Those who sought to focus on negatives were
left to find other victims.
We all tend
to act out the roles we feel have been assigned to us. That role exists in the image we have of
ourselves. The different facets of the
horse world are like a row of doors, locked so we can’t get in, but made of
glass so we can see what’s on the other side.
Our self-image holds the key to the one we belong in, and that’s why
I’ve grown to protect it so fiercely.
I ride
jumpers. Don’t look for my name in the
LI Jumpers Hall of Fame because it won’t be there. I am not accomplished. I am
not polished. I am competent. I used to
dream of flight on horseback. Now, when the whistle blows, I can go out in
front of a judge on one of those courses I used to set jumps on and fly.
That
wouldn’t have happened had I permitted skeptics, naysayers and contrarians to
bend the twig that might have leaned the tree in a completely different
direction. I’m grateful for the
knowledge, kind words and encouragement from those whom I chose to accompany me
on my journey that have helped it stand tall.
High on my list of positive people: Trainer Laura
Ruben of Affari Horse Farms returning from longing
DannyBoy as I walk the course at Hunters' Isle
